There is a quote hanging in my office that I find myself reflecting on every year as Visiting Day approaches. “Children need your presence more than your presents.” Tomorrow, after four weeks apart, you’ll have the opportunity to give your son exactly that: your time, your attention, and a day together.
The activity whistle will blow promptly at 9:30 a.m., and our greeters will direct you to your son’s first activity, where you’ll experience one of my favorite moments of the summer, that first embrace. After weeks apart, you’ll see just how much your son has grown not only physically, but emotionally.
As you spend the day together, I hope you’ll resist the temptation to evaluate camp by the neatness of his cubby or whether every sock has found its proper place.
Every Visiting Day reminds me of one of my favorite parenting stories that I often tell. Much to my wife’s chagrin, this is the only story I tell every year in these blogs.
Years ago, when our son Jack was a camper, my wife, Joan, stopped by his bunk during Rest Hour. Like many parents, she wandered over to his cubby to see how he was keeping his belongings. What she found looked less like a cubby and more like an archaeological dig. T-shirts, shorts, sweatshirts, and socks had somehow fused into one giant pile.
Joan did what many loving mothers instinctively do. She reached in with both arms, enveloped the pile of clothing, dragging the entire shelf’s contents onto the floor. As she patiently folded every last article of clothing before neatly rebuilding the stack, she gently reminded Jack about the importance of being organized, taking responsibility for his belongings, and keeping his cubby in order.
Jack stood quietly beside her, watching the entire process unfold. When she proudly finished her masterpiece, Joan smiled and asked, “Well… what do you have to say for yourself?”
Jack didn’t hesitate and said, “That’s not my cubby.”
Jack is now entering his senior year at the University of Michigan, and I think it’s safe to say that the course of his life wasn’t determined by whether his cubby—or someone else’s—was perfectly organized on Visiting Day.
The truth is, your sons have accomplished an enormous amount over the last month without you. They’ve learned to solve problems, navigate friendships, organize themselves (most of the time), advocate for themselves, and become more independent. Visiting Day isn’t an opportunity to undo that growth. It’s an opportunity to celebrate it.
We have a delicious lunch planned, plenty of time for you to explore camp together, and I hope you’ll spend far more time talking than tidying.
As many of you know, our Senior campers begin departing on their Big Trips over the coming week. Please limit anything you bring to camp to the designated Visiting Day bags we’ve provided. A few favorite treats to enjoy during the day are perfectly fine, but please avoid sending large quantities of food into the bunks. What your son will remember isn’t what you brought him, he’ll remember spending the day with you.
Visiting Day ends promptly at 4:00 p.m. As always, our counselors will be there to help with the goodbyes. If your son becomes emotional, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean he’s had a bad summer; it means he loves you.
Within minutes, the entire camp will be together in the Campfire Ring for our annual Mega Raffle, and before long they’ll be right back into the rhythm of camp. We can’t wait to welcome you.
